Tuesday, December 4, 2012

on my own again .

tuesday december 4th 2012 .

what do you kno , I moved out lastnight .
honestly, i just couldnt take being taken for granted by my own family .
especially being pregant , i really couldnt take the stress .
im living in the Met with g-money .
idk how long its gonna last , but its just to have a break from the bullshit .
i just miss my baby :/
but i know nothings gonna stop us from being together , we're a family now .
i miss bubbie & rillo too lol . my poor puppies .
its good to have a lot of time to myself tho ,
and hopefully i'll start online school soon so i can finally get my fuckin shit together before my babylove comes .
you know , things have been so different since i got pregant ,
i dont really deal with bullshit anymore .
and i've realied how fuckin fake people are .
like people ive been friends with for yearsss dont even come around anymore & im fine with that honestly .
i'd rather be completely alone than be surrounded by fake ass people .


Monday, December 3, 2012

Yelp ... Here it is .

November 30th , 2012
I know i havent blogged in forever now ... but i think this should make up for it .
I often think about how fast my life has changed ... From the time I was 16 all the way until now (being 20 going on 21 ) has just flashed by my eyes ... From living in fairfax , to fox run , to Dales , back to fox run , to grandma Mickie's , back to fox run , to the paddock club , to the summit , to Sam st , and now to watts hill .... It's been crazy . I can't say that I regret anything that happened along the way but I can say I've learned a lot , & grew up tremendously . The last 4-5 years have been the most hectic , crazy , hilariously fun , scary , and beyond emotional years of my life . At 16 I had my first real relationship , one I never thought would never end , but lasted on and off for over 3 years . Those years were some of the craziests times ive had , from dropping out of high school to getting caught shoplifting multiple times . In between those 'breaks' and break ups with that guy I was an emotional wreck , trying to keep my mind occupied and trying my best to stay busy and have fun . It didn't always turn out to be good wholesome fun . After the breakup , I experienced my first one night stand which made me feel disgusting . I experienced a lot of drinking , smoking , and pills ...pointless sex with pointless people... Partying with stranger-like people and putting myself in near death situations . Looking back I think ... How could Ive been that naive ?
After The craziness , Ofcourse I tried dating again ... I just couldn't connect with anyone on the level that I wanted to , so nothing lasted over 2 months - if that . I became the girl that didn't really care about anyone . I'd cheat & lie to whoever I was with at the time , it just felt like a fake relationship to me , nothing was meaningful in my eyes .
I guess you could say things have mellowed out since then . This past year (2012) has probably been the best year of my life . 6 months ago around may , I started dating the guy I'm with now . I've known him since I was 17 & always kinda had a crush on him . He was like family at first , always over at my house spending the night , recording songs , getting high & making me laugh my ass off . Even though he's 3 years younger than me , I haven't loved someone this much in a very long time . A little over 3 months ago , we found out we were having a baby which was a huge shock because I thought I couldn't have kids . Seeing our baby wave and move on the ultrasound monitor and looking up at my boyfriends excited & shocked face was probably the happiest moment I've had so far . In my life I've already experienced so much but I know it's only the beginning ... In five more years I could be in a different state , with all different people , who knows . I'm just thankful that I'm where I am right now , with the people I have - even if I only have a couple people by my side now .

Friday, January 20, 2012

Sippin' on rossi , Chillin with my posse .

January 20th . 

So a lot has happened recently , 
I know I haven't been blogging lately , but really alottt of shit has been happening .

 Well in a nutshell , Fuck #oomph , I'm done with him . 
He wants me for sex & to be able to say that he's dating me. 
& he's fucking this uglyyy bitch that works at seven sense just to get free spice. 
He's fucking addicted , it's pathetic . He's all like 
"I wish it as you every time . Your all I want , I just wish you understood the situation ." 
I understand your clinically addicted to spice , get help .
 I told him we weren't fucking anymore , even though I'm still in love with his dumbass . 
He was trying so hard to get me to give it up .

 Until I told him I got my tongue pierced . He was pissed . 
Like every time I do something sexy to myself , he turns into the bigggest hater . 
Smh . I don't need that . I need someone who's gonna wana improve with me . 
But I've been like 'fuck guys' lately , straight up . These few months ,
 I've slowly noticed one by one that guys are all liars . Some guys are scheme-ful  , some are gold diggers , 
some are like actors . It's like the guys that wana be with you , you don't wana be with & the guys you wana be with don't wana settle down , they just wana keep you as a side Sex toy . 
Hah , fuck that noise . & wassup with guys & they're baby mama's ? Smh . 
But guys are JUST like bitches . 
My dog Chloe's gone missing . 
So I'm super depressed about that bullshit . 

On top of that , we've got less than a month to find another place to live . 
our landlords are racists bitches . They act like we move weight over here or something . 
Just cause I always have a lotta people in & out . 
But I mean , we also have a lotta people that live here . 
My moms bf moved in a couple months ago . 
& my bestest bith Erica & her bf moved into chandlers room .
I couldn't be happier havin' her here , but idk how long it's gonna last .
Her bf keeps bumpin' heads with everyone it seems like . 
& it's stressing me out 'cause I know if he bounces , 
then Erica is gonna follow right behind him .
if someone is so quick to up & leave over small bullshit , then obviously they don't love you as much as you love them .
Anyways , last weekend was fun as fuck .
I got a fake ID , & went to Group Therapy with my girls .
It was great being able to go straight up to the bar & say "Washington Apple please ." lmao . 

I was so drunk by the end of that night , I was practically fucking on the dance floor 
& this old lady told me to get a room . lmao
She was like dress up in a church dress tights & her old ass husband had a suit & tie on . 
I'm like wtf ? Gtfo bitch . Lol hadda blast tho . 
Met some new girls Rachel & Heather , & they're cool as fuck. 
& I got to chill with my regular famfriends Brandi & Jenn .  Love them (: 

As for the holidays ,
christmas was alright .
lost a homeboy over some bulllshit , but thats life .
win some , lose many .

new years I went downtown for the famously hot new years bash ,
I was actually with a new guy on new years ,
but things didn't work out lol .

well , I got company so i gotta wrap this shit up .
Deucesssss . 

Gucci mane ft yelawolf - Wanna Party