Monday, December 3, 2012

Yelp ... Here it is .

November 30th , 2012
I know i havent blogged in forever now ... but i think this should make up for it .
I often think about how fast my life has changed ... From the time I was 16 all the way until now (being 20 going on 21 ) has just flashed by my eyes ... From living in fairfax , to fox run , to Dales , back to fox run , to grandma Mickie's , back to fox run , to the paddock club , to the summit , to Sam st , and now to watts hill .... It's been crazy . I can't say that I regret anything that happened along the way but I can say I've learned a lot , & grew up tremendously . The last 4-5 years have been the most hectic , crazy , hilariously fun , scary , and beyond emotional years of my life . At 16 I had my first real relationship , one I never thought would never end , but lasted on and off for over 3 years . Those years were some of the craziests times ive had , from dropping out of high school to getting caught shoplifting multiple times . In between those 'breaks' and break ups with that guy I was an emotional wreck , trying to keep my mind occupied and trying my best to stay busy and have fun . It didn't always turn out to be good wholesome fun . After the breakup , I experienced my first one night stand which made me feel disgusting . I experienced a lot of drinking , smoking , and pills ...pointless sex with pointless people... Partying with stranger-like people and putting myself in near death situations . Looking back I think ... How could Ive been that naive ?
After The craziness , Ofcourse I tried dating again ... I just couldn't connect with anyone on the level that I wanted to , so nothing lasted over 2 months - if that . I became the girl that didn't really care about anyone . I'd cheat & lie to whoever I was with at the time , it just felt like a fake relationship to me , nothing was meaningful in my eyes .
I guess you could say things have mellowed out since then . This past year (2012) has probably been the best year of my life . 6 months ago around may , I started dating the guy I'm with now . I've known him since I was 17 & always kinda had a crush on him . He was like family at first , always over at my house spending the night , recording songs , getting high & making me laugh my ass off . Even though he's 3 years younger than me , I haven't loved someone this much in a very long time . A little over 3 months ago , we found out we were having a baby which was a huge shock because I thought I couldn't have kids . Seeing our baby wave and move on the ultrasound monitor and looking up at my boyfriends excited & shocked face was probably the happiest moment I've had so far . In my life I've already experienced so much but I know it's only the beginning ... In five more years I could be in a different state , with all different people , who knows . I'm just thankful that I'm where I am right now , with the people I have - even if I only have a couple people by my side now .

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